Desired by the Bear - Book 1: BBW Werebear Shifter Romance Read online

  She continues to gaze out the window behind me. It overlooks the water, and I think she’s remembering our home in the Arctic. I say, “I miss it too.” I sigh. “Jean Luc won’t be home for another hour, so we have plenty of time to talk frankly. Whatever you want to know, I’ll do my best to tell you.” I pause as her brow knits in what I think is disbelief. I add, “As a De Rozier. We may never have been close friends, but you and I have a bond, and I’m on your side in this.”

  The small noise she makes in the back of her throat makes me think she’s not buying it. She asks, “Do you know why Tristan sent me here?”

  I recall the conversation I had with my brother a few days ago. I told him I was pregnant, and he got a bit growly over my safety. He thinks because the Ouellette warriors are not as mighty as polar bear I’m not as protected as I could be. “He says it’s to keep you safe, but I don’t think you believe that any more than I do.” She nods, and I say, “I think he wants you here to protect me. You’re stronger than the warriors the Ouellettes have.”

  “But why would you need protection?” she asks as a glass of water I set down in front of her clinks on the granite countertop.

  It’s a fair question since I was one of the most ferocious warriors the De Roziers had. I smile at her as I place my hand on my stomach. “I’m pregnant.”

  “Oh.” Nadia’s gaze darts to my stomach before she returns it to my face. “Then why would he tell me I was going to work on boats?”

  I smile. “Because if he told you that you were coming to protect me you might have run away.” Nadia shakes her head, but her cheeks become pink with the hint of a blush. I say, “It’s okay. I know what you-- what everyone in our clan-- thought about me, and I deserved it.”

  She lifts her glass to drink, and spoons clatter on the counter when I set them out. I say, “I’m not sure what Marcel and Xavier told you, but the hunters we’re dealing with know who I am. They most likely know who Jean Luc is too, but because the Ouellette clan is ingrained in the human population of Safe Harbor, the hunters haven’t figured out who else is a werebear.”

  “Do you think they’ll know I am too because of my hair?”

  I nod. “They’ll make the assumption.”

  She says, “We ran into hunters in a restaurant before I got here.” She shakes her head as a low rumble forms in her chest, and her fangs flash before she says, “Why don’t you just kill them?”

  “Because Jean Luc has ordered that no werebear is allowed to strike first.”

  Nadia growls but has sense enough to keep her disrespectful thoughts about an alpha to herself. In the Arctic we never thought twice about killing a known hunter. We also were able to dump bodies in the ocean, where they’d never be found, and what little law enforcement there was never interfered.

  I say, “It’s different here.” Steam rises from a bowl of chowder as I place it in front of Nadia. “The Ouellette clan has lived in peace with humans for a long time, and Jean Luc doesn’t want to lose that.” I don’t either. The De Rozier clan experienced tumultuous times during my teen years, and it’s the last thing I want for my children.

  I watch Nadia shovel her soup in her mouth as if she’s not sure when she’ll get fed again. There is a feral side to the girl that makes her a good warrior, and I wonder how she managed to hide it when she was a famous model. I suspect leaving that job was a blessing in disguise. We don’t speak as the two of us consume our meal, or when I refill Nadia’s bowl until the chowder is gone. She hasn’t had it easy, and I think she’s got a hole to fill. For now food is the only thing she can readily grasp.

  Nadia sops up the last bit of her soup with a piece of bread, and I say, “Jean Luc will be pleased to hear you like his chowder. He’s proud of it.”

  The girl actually smiles at me as she says, “It was delicious. I’m sorry I ate all you had.”

  I wave my hand at her. “Don’t be. You look like you could use a lot more meals like that.”

  She rubs her belly as she sighs in contentment, but some switch in her must flip, because her eyes turn hard when she glances at me and says, “I’ll protect you, but I need to train. Can you get me out of working on boats so I can get back in shape?”

  I nod. I flash back to the girl I was not too long ago, and I realize Nadia is a lot like me. She needs the physical release as much as I do. “I’m one of the warrior trainers and go to the gym every day. If I tell Jean Luc I’d be more comfortable with you there, he’ll agree.” One of the things I need to respect about my husband is he’s the alpha, and I can’t undermine his power. But I think Nadia needs me to trust her if I want to gain hers, so I say, “If he knows it was Tristan’s idea, it might not go as well.”

  Nadia nods and gets up to clean the kitchen. When the two of us finish tidying up I take her down to the beach to shift and swim. While our cove is out of the way and has always been safe, I stay on the beach as lookout to be sure. Icy wind stings my cheeks as I watch Nadia take powerful strokes to swim out deeper, and I envision the joy she’s experiencing when she dives under. I imagine what it must have been like to go months without being able to shift and even longer without swimming.

  My stomach is firm under my palms as I place my hands on it and think about my babies. I was so afraid my mood swings were my bipolar coming back. But after I managed to control my temper and channel it appropriately with Tally, I think I’m safe. My children are safe. I want them to grow up in the peaceful world Jean Luc has created here.

  Water splashes as Nadia breaks through the surface, and I think about how she’s led a tough life too. She deserves a safe place to live where she can also be happy. Maybe it’s my nurturing instinct finally kicking in, or maybe it’s the true-mate love I found that changed me for the better that’s making me want the same for Nadia. While I can’t promise her a mate for life, I want to give her a home where she can finally breathe easy. My idyllic world needs to stay peaceful, and in my heart I know I’ll do anything to keep it that way.

  Nadia walks toward me with a grin on her face as she exits the water, and I ask, “Happy?”

  “Very. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” If I have my way, you’ll get to make that a habit.

  24

  Tally

  Sunlight filters through my window and makes the piece of red sea glass Grace gave me glow. I sip my tea as I call up the vision of the redheaded girl who appeared to me when I performed the origin spell to get information about the piece of glass. I’m still sure she’s important, and today I’m going to see if Marcel can help me figure out why.

  I’ve never worked with Marcel to develop his abilities. They’re weak, and as a warrior, he’s never had an interest in magic. But that was before Isabelle showed off her fireballs at training yesterday. Now warriors are dropping by to see if they have special powers, and Marcel told me he wants intense training to develop his seer abilities. I rub my shoulder, which is only marginally sore, and I recall how Marcel massaged my cramping muscles two days ago. He was definitely flirting with me, and even though my head is telling me not to get my hopes up about a relationship with a werebear, my fantasies about Marcel’s hands won’t stop.

  Xavier’s deep voice is muffled through the door, but I can tell he’s talking to someone, and I guess it’s Marcel. My chair scrapes as I stand up and straighten my skirt. After my brief time with Jace watching me during the day I’m glad he returned to night duty and I got Xavier back. Xavier is Marcel’s best friend and knows how to protect me from the hunters who may want to kill me, while allowing me enough space to live my life. Marcel’s laugh carries toward me, and I smile as my tea cup clatters in the sink.

  I turn to the soft whoosh of the door opening, and my heart flips when the heat of Marcel’s gaze reaches me. He says, “Good morning, Tally.”

  “Hi.” My pulse pounds in my ears as heat rushes through my body. Just the sight of him ramps me up. I ask, “Before we get to work, would you like a tarot reading?”

  He
walks toward me as he shakes his head. “I think it’s time we stopped that silly game, don’t you?”

  He’s not-- Oh goddess. Marcel is standing close enough I can feel heat radiating toward me. I stare at his massive chest as he says, “Tally.” His voice is slightly breathless as if I’m affecting him the way he does me. His finger sears my skin as he lifts my chin so I’m gazing into his eyes. He says, “You’re the only girl I dream about.”

  “I--” My voice is a squeak, and I clear my throat. “I am?”

  A shudder of pure lust rushes through me when he rubs his calloused thumb over my lower lip. A low rumble reverberates through Marcel’s chest as he says, “Tell me you dream about me too.”

  He must know I do, since he can smell how much I want him any time he’s near. I glance at his mouth, and I guess that’s all the answer he needs, because Marcel leans down and kisses me. His lips are soft and plump against mine as he nips at me before pulling away. He says, “Just what I thought.” I frown, and his body thumps as he seats himself in my chair and says, “You taste as sweet as I expected.” He pats his lap. “Now come over here so I can do this the way you need me to.”

  I shake my head. “We can’t. This--” I sigh.

  Marcel holds out his hand. “Yes, we can. We have to, Tally. You’re all I think about, and I’m going crazy.” He leans forward and grabs my fingers. “Please. Give me a chance to show you how great we could be.”

  My chest hitches as I take a deep breath and blow it out. I’m sure I’ll regret this, but I sit on Marcel’s lap, and he palms the back of my head before he places his mouth on mine. This kiss is definitely not chaste. His tongue tangles with mine, and I moan a little as my hand flies to his shirt to hold on. The cotton is soft in my grip as I get drunk on the flavor of the man I’ve wanted for as long as I can remember.

  Suddenly I flash to a vision. A woman is screaming in agony, and I gaze at the slick head of a baby she’s giving birth to. I realize I can smell the salty odor of the woman’s sweat as I’m really there. I’m not watching. I’ve possessed someone! And the black cold I sense tells me she’s about to do something evil. I reach for the baby as it slides out of the mother’s body. Mine. I watch as the person I’m in cuts the cord. Metal handles of the scissors are cool on my fingers. I know the woman I possess is going to do something wrong, but I don’t seem to have control over her actions. I glance through her eyes at the mother, who’s clutching another newborn to her chest, and when I speak I feel the words leave my mouth as if they’re mine. “I’m so sorry, Rachel. This twin is dead.” There’s a tone of remorse in the voice, but that’s not what I feel. She’s excited as we rush out of the room with the baby before it can make any noise.

  I close my eyes and slam a metal curtain down over my mind as I yank away from Marcel. My blood turns to ice in my veins. That baby wasn’t dead. I-- She stole it.

  Marcel asks, “Tally? What’s wrong?”

  I scramble off his lap as my scalp crawls with fear. I was there. I was in that woman’s body for real. This was more than a vision, and the reality of what happened makes me want to curl up in the fetal position and rock in the corner. I rasp out, “I had a vision.” I run my hands through my hair as I step away from Marcel. We do have a connection, and it’s a magical one that scares the hell out of me.

  Marcel grabs my hand, and I yank it away as if he scalded me with hot water as I yell, “Don’t!”

  “Tally.”

  He stands, and I throw my hand out as I snap, “Stay away.”

  Marcel nods quickly. “I will. Tell me what’s going on.”

  “You’re a portal. You took me back in time to possess someone.” I shake my head because I’ve only heard about what just happened, and I know it’s volatile magic.

  “That’s kind of cool,” says Marcel.

  “You’d think so, but it’s not predictable.” A shudder racks through my body as I remember what just happened, and the reality of what might have come to be shakes me to the core. “Sometimes witches can’t come back.”

  Marcel’s eyes widen as he understands what that means. He whispers, “I almost lost you forever?”

  I nod. “And trust me when I tell you that being the woman I just possessed would be worse than hell.”

  “Whoa.” Marcel takes a deep breath and blows it out. “I’m a portal. Am I like this for every witch?”

  I shrug. “I don’t know. I only know about it because of some story Tokala told me.” I snort. “And I thought he was making it up.”

  “That’s the dude who’s jealous of you, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  Marcel grins. “I wish I could see his face when you tell him.”

  Tokala is the medicine man for a clan that, until recently, was evil. I don’t think telling him about Marcel being my portal is a good idea. I say, “Yeah. No. I won’t be telling anyone about this. It’s too dangerous.”

  “How so?”

  “I don’t know how to control it. Now that we’ve opened the portal it’s like a black hole I need to avoid so I don’t get sucked in by accident.”

  Marcel’s mouth opens, and I think he gets it. He asks, “Is being near me dangerous?”

  I shrug. “I’m not feeling a pull right now, so I don’t think so. But this isn’t something to mess around with.”

  “That’s why you pulled away.”

  I nod. “You make me feel things, Marcel. I’m so attracted to you I don’t think straight. You make me weak.”

  His face falls, and the weight of my words is heavy on my heart too as he says, “I’m your Achilles’ heel.”

  Tears fill my eyes, because this beautiful man before me who has been the star of my fantasies for so long is now truly unattainable. Marcel’s eyes glisten too as he gazes at me. He says, “Oh, Tally.” His pain echoes through his words. “My sweet, sweet, Tally.”

  My lower lip trembles as hot moisture rolls down my cheek. “We can’t be together.”

  Marcel holds one hand over his heart and then slowly holds it out to me. His fingers shake before he drops his arm and turns to leave. Even though he didn’t speak I know he just told me he loves me. I gasp as my sob escapes, and the floor is cold on my knees as I sink down. The door snicks shut after he leaves, and I whisper, “I love you too.”

  I know he hears me, because the sound of his footsteps halts. I don’t dare to tap into his mind because of the portal, but I think this is breaking his heart too. When his boots thud on my stone path again, my sob escapes as the man I love walks away.

  25

  Kelsey

  My mom is my best friend, and even though the past few months of our relationship were strained, I’m excited to see her. I stocked up on chips, ice cream, and cookies in preparation for a long chat into the night. Now that I know she’s most likely going to tell me my father was a werebear, I think when she finds out how accepting I am of the information we’re bound to get back to where we used to be.

  When her text announcing she’s in the parking lot dings I hurry to greet her. My feet pound down the wooden steps as I jog, and I don’t bother to stop running until I’m at her car. Mom’s barely out of her vehicle before I embrace her tight. I breathe in the faint scent of her lemon body lotion, and it warms my heart. “Mom, I’m so glad to see you.”

  “Kelsey.” She sighs as she squeezes me back. “It’s really good to be here.” She steps back and turns toward the ocean. “Goodness, what a beautiful town. I can see why you’re so happy.”

  Her bag is heavy on my shoulder as I hoist it up, and I notice she grabs a large canvas tote filled with plastic containers. She says, “I hope you don’t mind I brought you a few baked goods.”

  I squeal, “You brought me cookies?”

  “And carrot cake, butterscotch bars, and the seven-layer coconut bites.”

  “Oh my god, you do love me.”

  Mom chuckles as I lead her up the stairs. She gazes out at the ocean and inhales deeply before she says, “This is amazing. It almos
t smells like home.”

  I think about how my mother always wanted to live somewhere she could see the water. But real estate on ocean property in our town was never within her financial reach. I say, “I know. And tonight we can keep the window open and fall asleep to the sound of waves.”

  My mother’s face beams as we climb high enough that we’re gazing over the trees to the ocean. “Wow,” she says. “Can I stay?”

  I chuckle as I tug on my door. My mother is a teacher, and I say, “It’s almost summer, and you’ll be out of work for two months. Maybe you could.”

  “Don’t tempt me. You don’t need your annoying mother around getting in the way.”

  Containers clatter on the counter as she unloads her bag of food while I bring her things to my room. I call out, “You aren’t my annoying mother. If you were, I’d make you sleep on the couch.”

  When I get back to the living room my mom has the cookies open, and she hands me one as she walks over to the couch and says, “Let’s talk. I need to get something off my chest so we can move on and enjoy each other.”

  I sit across from my mother and mirror her sitting position as I tuck a foot under my bottom. While I think I know what she’s going to say, I want to hear it in her words.

  Mom smoothes out her shorts and takes a deep breath before she gazes at me and says, “Kelsey, your father is a Ouellette.”

  “He’s related to Jean Luc?” I bite into my treat and revel in the sugary-sweet flavor as it pleases my tongue.

  She shakes her head. “Not exactly. Well.” She frowns. “I guess maybe he is, but not in the way you think.” Mom bites her lip and reaches for my hand. I set my cookie on the coffee table and take both of hers to squeeze in encouragement. She says, “This is going to sound very bizarre. You father is a werebear, and the Ouellettes are his clan.”

  I nod. “I know about werebear.”

  “You do?”

  “Yes. Val is one.”

  Mom inhales sharply and drops my hands. Her voice is faint as she says, “Kelsey. Oh god.”